I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
