no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize