Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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