fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
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I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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