She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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