I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize