Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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