Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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