Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
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He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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