shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
