ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
