I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess