it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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