Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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