So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.