so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.