some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.