why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize