The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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