This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
