He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
