i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize