I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize