so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
