I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
