quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
