all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
