You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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