I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.