you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.