I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"