he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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