My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize