She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize