I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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