So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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