I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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