I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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