You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
