she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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