took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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