Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize