You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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