GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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