Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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