Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
