New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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