I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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