epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize