I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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