I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
