I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize