Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
