well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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