the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
